I'm hesitant to do this because in the past I've written several blogs that have sadly gone by the wayside. They are still online, however, rather than being the current pulse of my life, they have become like old notes found in the pocket of a pair of jeans that have been through the wash a few times and now the words are hard to dicipher because they were written for a different time...

So, I begin anew.

I'm titling this blog "Hapiru: Life on the Spiritual Margin" I first came across the term "hapiru" (Hah-PEE-roo, although it is sometimes pronounced with a silent "h", and sometimes it's translated "Habiru") in a book called The Prophetic Imagination by Walter Brueggemann. Here is what he says about the word:

"The term "hapiru" in various forms and with various linguistic congates appears in the Ancient Near East in the second millennium to refer to stateless people who live at the edges of society, threaten society, and are in turn threatened by it. It is widely thought that the biblical term "Hebrew" is linked to the term; if so, then the early references to what became Israel are linked to a border social movement of marginal, precarious peoples. Recent scholarship has indicated that the term is not ethnic but is sociological and refers to those at the edge of economic and political viability in many states in the region." - Walter Breuggemann, The Prophetic Imagination

A simpler version might be: Someone who feels they don't fit in the center. I relate to the term hapiru for a couple of reasons:

I have an hapiru experience of faith. My questions don't seem to match up to the answers. I often leave church services feeling less connected than before. That said, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. This alone places me in a certain marginal status in a post-christian culture. However, I am hesitant to accept the term "christian" as way of defining my faith. While I am engaged in trying to discover what Jesus termed the "Kingdom of God," I often feel disconnected from the traditional religious sphere better known as "the church." I attend a congregation regularly - and they are great people who give me some room to try and be a fellow-follower - however, I often feel a misfit with my questions, frustrations, and distractions. For 13 years I was a church pastor. However, I found it too difficult to lead from the center with a marginal bent. Now my spirtuality finds itself more comfortable out of the mainstream, on the fringe, able to breathe.

I also have an hapiru vocation. I am a working visual artist. I paint, draw and sculpt. Artists have historically found themselves on the margins of society, alongside poets, philosophers, and garbage collectors. We like to believe we see things differently and as a result we often have a view of things that is not understood by the broader culture. To be honest, I usually feel more spiritually "at home" among my artist friends (most of which do not have a regular faith practice) than among christians. I've been an artist all my life - though my art practice languished during those 13 years of church work mentioned above. Thankfully, my move to the margins professionally and spiritually has given my art new life.

I'm not really sure who this blog will be "for." People usually write blogs to be read by others - as a way for others to "keep up" with them or as a free forum to pontificate about whatever. I guess this blog will have those purposes as well. Hopefully, however, it will give me a personal space to "word out" my wonderings and wanderings. This means anyone who chooses to read this blog will have to stomach a lot of naval-gazing - which I realize is often arrogant and selfish - but it is also very cathartic, purgative and ultimately healthy (hopefully).

Well, that's enough of a "grand introduction." Let's see if this thing sticks now...